My mom, is the best example of strength and dignity I have ever known. God thought of her when writing about the Proverbs 31 woman. She has walked through journeys that would break most just by imagining them, and still has experienced more heartbreaks that only she and Jesus will ever know. Still, she has always been the most kind and loving woman I’ve ever known. My Momma, prayed prayers for me when I couldn’t pray for myself-and still does.

Momma is the most generous person I know. She is the first to serve in every situation and she makes everyone around her feel at home.  Her smile and sweet spirit light up a room effortlessly. She has lost four children and yet I never suffered a moment of her withholding love from me due to her own grief. She taught me more about unconditional love than I deserved to know, and she can bake a sweet treat that could top the most famous baker. Yet, her heart is even sweeter than pure sugar cane. Although she has faced enormous battles with her health, she still pushes through to put others before herself. She will bake through a migraine, call to say I love you, or send a “just because” package to keep her eyes off her own situation. She is completely selfless and humble.

Even more than the best mom she has been to me, she is an amazing MiMi for my kids.  They adore her. There is something uniquely special she has with each one. I could write for days and days about all the goodness of her. I love my mom with all my heart, for all she is and all she isn’t.

Today, I’m so honored to celebrate her on her birthday and I thank God for giving me the best He had to offer.

I love you, Momma. You deserve all the best in this life, but I know the greatest treasures will be given in Heaven.

Meet Kristin: A 32 year old teacher, photographer and mom who lives in Virginia Beach with her hubby Peter, 6 year old daughter Lucy, 4 year old son Tommy, doggy Rambo, and kitties Carina & Tori…at least until next week when they’ll all head to Okinawa, Japan for three years!

What do you love about yourself?

This is a hard question to answer. Modesty turns into self-criticism very easily…it’s hard to love myself. I think I’d have to say my brain. If you don’t feel the nerd oozing off me in the first 30 seconds you’re around me, then you probably haven’t met me. But the advantage to being such a nerd is that the possibilities for life are endless. I firmly believe you can learn anything if you put your mind to it, so I do. I always have a slew of hobbies and I love reading and learning and teaching others what I have learned. I’m a constantly growing person. Being smart gives me a lot of flexibility to adapt to life.

If it were possible for someone to be YOU for a day, what would you want them to experience & understand in order to really ‘get’ who you are?

You know that joke online about how the best way to understand a woman’s mind is to look at an internet browser with 50 tabs open at once? Yeah with me it’s more like 5000 tabs open at once! I need a certain amount of busy and challenge in my life to be happy. I need my family. I need to teach. I need math. I need photography. I need dance. I need books. I need friends. I need games. I need to travel. I need flowers and a garden. I’m the kind of person who needs to keep my mind busy and challenged to be happy.

What is/are your biggest fear(s)? What’s your greatest struggle?

Biggest fear is loss of my loved ones/family.

Biggest struggle is trying to find balance in life. I want to be a perfect mom AND have my career. I want to be a math nerd AND an artist. I want to do a lot of things that contradict each other and if I don’t find that balance I’m not a happy person. Example…I LOVE my job (teaching math) but when it takes over my life I start to resent it. I LOVE my children…but I’m also happy to go into work and have “me” time every day.

What do you want your legacy to be? How do you want to be remembered?

I’d hope that I made the world a better place. I hope I’m making an impression on my own children and my students, and that future generations will be my legacy.

What are you most grateful for?

My husband, Peter.

Share a proud moment from your life / accomplishment you’re proud of.

Definitely proud of my babies. Every day they impress me with something new!

What is the best advice you were ever given?

Live in the moment. I try not to dwell on negative feelings. You can’t regret the past, only learn from it. And you can’t obsess/worry about the future, just plan as best as you can and be flexible with how things go. Too many people get swamped in negativity and miss out on life in the process.

If you could speak to a large group of women, what would you say to them?

Love and support each other. Too many women judge and compete with other women. We need to be supporting each other and lifting each other up.

What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done?

Well one time I hopped on a plane by myself and went to do a study abroad in China for a month. Not sure if it counts as “crazy” but it was definitely a defining life experience that gave me the courage to later hop on a plane by myself and follow my husband to Japan for four years (without the support of the military initially, although I bullied them into letting me stay).

Share a treasured memory.

One of my favorite things to do as a child was pick “wild flowers” (aka weeds) with my grandmother. My favorites were these delicate little bitty periwinkle flowers called “bluets” that covered her back yard like a carpet for about a week in the spring. I knew she loved flowers so I still made a point to do it as an adult. Then one day we were visiting her and my daughter came in the kitchen with a handful of “wildflowers” (weeds) for my grandma. Melted my heart.

Meet April, a retired Navy Senior Chief who served in the military for 27 years. She continues to serve her country by supporting and loving on its veterans. April is a ‘professional hugger’ with Honor Flight Historic Triangle Virginia (ok that’s not her official title, but it might as well be ) and is active in the local WAVES community (Women Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service…info: http://www.navy.mil/submit/display.asp?story_id=75662). Like she says below, she doesn’t know a stranger. You feel like family the moment you meet her!

Age: 51

What you do: If I tell you I’d have to kill you – so I volunteer…..A LOT!

Family:

most amazing hubby – who happens to be a Teacher, 8th grade – Stan the Man

Stazy – almost 16 – a teen – a brain – and uses sarcasm with a perfect smile.

Samantha – 27 – hard worker whose work ethic is above reproach. Am very proud of them both.

MO – my daughter in law – she is fun, down to earth – and keeps my daughter happy. I’m happy also!!!!!!

Furry family members: Ace is my big, blond, grand-dog….did I mention he is blond?????

What do you love about yourself?

I don’t know a stranger – it is my dad’s fault – but it has helped me get veterans on our Honor Flight buses!!!!!!!!

If it were possible for someone to be YOU for a day, what would you want them to experience & understand in order to really ‘get’ who you are?

To smell an old book and feel the joy I feel reading some of the words in that book – then having a young Sailor read from my Navy old, real old books, and see that the meaning of what they read – is STILL THE SAME, even 100 years later.  I love the A-HA moment – making the STORY of History FUN – not boring.

What is/are your biggest fear(s)?

That I don’t out-live my money and my kids pick my nursing home.

Ok, ok…….Finding out that I did not set my girls up for success – I don’t want to live their lives – but I want them to do better than us – and I do fear some days (NOT EVERY DAY) I did not put my foot up a bum far enough……did I TEACH the right thing, did I SHOW the right thing, did I SHOW the right example?

What’s your greatest struggle?

ALLOWING my kids to fully be themselves – not what I envisioned for them. So there are quite a few times I sit on my hands so I don’t stick BOTH feet in my mouth. Except to tell the world how proud I am of ALL 3 OF THEM……grand dog….still learning – but SO PROUD of my kids!!!!!!!

What do you want your legacy to be? How do you want to be remembered?

I share our Navy history by looking for the story, so if I can open that door in someone’s mind to EXPLORE the story, I would be thrilled with that.

Remembered…..that is tough – I’m the ole lady with old stuff and a story and I have an AMAZING FAMILY: blood, Navy, and Honor Flight.

What are you most grateful for?

WAY TOO MANY THINGS

What is the best advice you were ever given?

From my mom….no matter how big your paycheck is….PAY YOURSELF FIRST, put it away, do not touch it – YOU earned this money, so PAY YOURSELF.

If you could speak to a large group of women, what would you say to them?

“Well HELLO!!!!!!!!!”

I do talks about WAVES history with many commands in the area, so I do speak to large groups of women – and SHARE where we came from in our wonderful Navy History…..with Stories…..I love Stories!!!!!!

When I first announced She is Loved back in August, I knew it was important. In a world where we’re constantly bombarded with ‘noise’ about what profession or body type or hair color & style or fashion or ______ is considered popular or perfect, it’s nearly impossible to feel ‘good enough’ much less truly loved. Heck, I don’t think the majority of the population even knows what unconditional love really means. I thought I had a decent grasp on the concept two months ago but based on my understanding now, I’d say I was pretty clueless.

It has been a blast so far to hear your stories and come up with personalized photo shoots. I get a big goofy grin on my face when I look at the website’s home page and glance through the sessions and tributes already published. I’m giddy excited about the sessions that have yet to be photographed and/or shared.

This past weekend I took a minute to reflect on these first few weeks. I thought about what I shared in my initial post on erinkass.com – that my desire is to essentially photograph hearts, not just faces. And if I’m totally honest, I’ve struggled a bit in that area.

Let’s be real (naked): we all have stuff we don’t love about our appearance. We all have certain angles where we look our best…where we look closest to those ‘ideals’ I mentioned earlier. Many factors determine how we will actually appear in a finished image. There are ways to make a person look bigger or smaller through technical and posing adjustments. (and these days anything can be changed through photoshop!) But what I’m struggling with is balancing the ‘perfect’ with the authentic.

I absolutely want to give each lady images that she is proud to show off. I want to capture the ‘perfect angles’ and make the adjustments to ensure she feels like the beautiful person she is. However, if someone is running through a field in order to illustrate their newly discovered confidence and freedom, or if someone else is belly laughing at something ridiculous I do or say, chances are they may not be in a ‘perfect angle’ position. If I only stick to ‘perfect angle’ pictures, we’re not going to see who each of you amazing women actually are. Because none of us are perfect.

I didn’t love the first image above at first glance. I think I look better (read:thinner) photographed from the left side vs the right, my arm could be more toned and I don’t have long thin fingers. Then I thought ‘quit being silly’ and saw the joy on my face. I remembered the moment when I was laughing at the fact I was almost knee deep in nasty squishy mud. Suddenly I didn’t care so much about the other nit-picky details. The picture in the middle does not follow the ‘rules for photographing a lady in a flattering way’. But it was taken that way on purpose. Ginny felt impressed that she was supposed to throw out the normal posing and shoot me straight on & with my arms totally relaxed at my sides. It was to be a strong and powerful pose vs the more flattering pose that’s on the right.

I love both images on the right for what they stand for. But I have to choose to focus on the meaning and not the fact that the center one shows my thicker size-10-pear-shaped-body-dress-where-I-had-to-get-boobs-sewn-in-because-I-have-none vs the thinner looking ‘closer to size 4-6 dress appearance’ that I’d rather have. I was smaller for a lot of my life and then had serious health issues that resulted in me gaining weight. But instead of thinking ‘I look fat’…I’m choosing to think ‘I look strong and healthier than I’ve been in a long time…possibly ever’. The size I am now is a result of my story. It’s who I am and there’s nothing wrong with it!

I’m going on record that She is Loved is taking a stand to photograph authenticity…to focus more on photographing hearts instead of ‘perfect appearances’. Does that mean I’m going to completely not care about making women look as flattering as possible? Absolutely not! But that’s not going to be the priority of every image.

The only way that we’re going to feel fully loved is to accept ALL of who we are. Every pound on our bodies is part of our story. Maybe you’ve had your own health struggle, or have given birth and still have baby weight (even if your youngest is 10 years old ), or you have the distinctive ‘family nose’. Can we stop looking at ourselves as flawed and quit measuring ourselves against what others say is right?

You. Are. Beautiful. Just the way you are. It might not be where you hope to be in the future but that’s okay. You’re here now and there is beauty in it. The journey of life is full of twists and turns. That’s what makes it interesting. Let’s quit wasting so much time worrying about what isn’t important and instead make it a priority to live fully alive investing in what truly matters. <3

My mom Krista has been the most important part of my life since the day I was born. My earliest memories of my mom are filled with joy, laughter, and tears. Tears of beautiful mother-daughter moments and tears of absolute sadness. When I was 6 my mother was diagnosed with stomach cancer. I watched her battle through the whole thing. Even as a young girl I was amazed at how a woman who was going through such hell still managed to make it to every school function. She still helped create awesome science projects for my brother and I.

After beating the cancer she still had to battle more demons. Years later she was diagnosed with a heart condition that led to 3 heart surgeries. She never slowed down once.

Then suddenly in 2009 everything changed. My best friend, my brother’s hero and the love of her life suddenly died. Losing my father was devastating and I wasn’t sure how my mom was going to make it. I realized I needed to be her rock. It’s been 6 years since we lost him and everyday my mom continues to show such grace and strength. She finds new love in her grandchildren and embraces her family.

As a mother myself now, I fully understand the love a parent has for a child. A mother puts her children’s needs and wants before her own every time. I hope one day my children realize the love I have for them. It truly comes from the love my mother has always shown and continues to give me. She is the true meaning of a survivor and is the best mother and friend I could ever ask for.

Mom, you are so loved.

A Tribute to ‘MomIs’:

I am slowly losing my Mom to the tentacles of Dementia, a nasty insidious disease that robs not only the afflicted person, but also their family and friends of the inner person they have known & loved for a long time.

I am blessed that I still have both of my parents as they reach their 94th birthdays this October (Dad 10/17 & Mom 10/31).  

Dad has shared that he took an oath on February 15, 1946 that he will be with my mom through sickness & health, good times and bad and he is holding true to that oath.  Almost 3 years ago dad realized he could no longer care for mom on his own so they moved into assisted living together and have adjusted to having others come in and help with their health needs and mom’s daily care; it is a challenging journey.

My parents have had more than their share of trials & tribulations, but they have stuck together through it all.  I think one of the hardest was losing my younger brother, Peter Preble at the age of 18.  Pete had gone in for a tackle during his last game of his senior years as a Naples High School Eagle football player; he stood up and had a convulsion – mom, being a nurse, knew that Peter was gone when she got to his side on the football field, but she held out hope that she was wrong.  On Monday, November 24th 1975 – my parents signed the papers allowing Peter to be “unplugged” and donated his heart.

My parents have outlived both of their sons. In March of 2011, they lost their older son, Whitney, to heart disease.  

Mom and I used to joke that she is the “real” nurse after I followed in her footsteps and became a nurse.  I had the honor of using my mother’s Red Cross Volunteer pin to use at my pinning as I graduated from nursing school fifty years after she graduated from nursing.  Mom went to nursing school at Stuart Circle hospital in Richmond, VA and earned her Diploma! A diploma nurse is one who actually learns nursing in the hospital and it’s hand-on patient care from day 1. Mom’s nursing career spanned over 4 decades in various locations and different types of nursing, including serving her country in WWII. 

Mom raised 5 children, has three grandchildren and 3 great grandchildren. Mom had the ability to make each of her kids feel like they were her favorite one, but I know I am her FAVORITE one, because I am the one here with her – of course when my sister, Lynne, visits I allow her to think she is the favored one.

Through mom, I learned how to have compassion and to be empathic towards others.  Mom came from humble beginnings and learned to be happy with her lot in life. She did her best to pass that on to me.  I have always said if I could be like my mother, my life will be well spent.

During our photo shoot with Erin, mom was having a “bad day”, but she tried to cooperate the best she could.  The time was bitter sweet because I could see the devastation that the disease is causing in this kind-hearted, warm, compassionate, and giving woman. Mom would be a bit “sharp” and then try to regroup her thoughts.

All one can do is to continue to LOVE and support a victim of dementia, because they have no control over what is happening to them. Every once in a while I get a glimpse of the woman that raised me into the woman that I have become.

I am grateful for my mother and despite losing her to dementia I still have the honor and privilege to hug her and tell her I LOVE HER!

I am 30 years old and the mom to two fur babies, Piper and Aadi. I am an Adoption Social Worker for a Christian agency in Virginia Beach and I work with families to help them prepare for the journey of adoption. I absolutely love my job and the amazing support that I get from my coworkers. I am a member of a small church in Suffolk but also attend small groups and services at Wave Church in Virginia Beach. I have been shown more grace in my life than anyone ever deserved and I am thankful to my Heavenly Father for everyday that I get to experience this amazing life that He has placed me in.

What do you love about yourself?

I love that I am a confusing combination of personalities.  When anyone asks me about myself I often list completely opposing things! I am smart, nerdy, analytical, a planner, a list maker but I am also spontaneous, outgoing, chatty, goofy, and LOVE to laugh at myself. God has made me into a pretty great version of me and all of the experiences that I have had in my life have shaped who He wanted me to turn out as. Like everyone else, I am a work in progress, but I have no doubt that anything that He has planned for me in the future will result in more growth and change. I have been through some deep valleys emotionally and physically in the last 5 years of my life but through those deep, dark times He has shown me that He is ALWAYS by my side and has increased my faith 1,000 times over. One of the hard times of my life literally caused me to turn my life over to Him so it is all worth it to know that I have a loving God who will put me back together when I fall apart.

What is/are your biggest fear(s)? What’s your greatest struggle?

My biggest struggle is my self image and accepting myself. I was in a long term emotionally abusive relationship and it really took its toll on the way that I see myself. I can only describe it as a fun house mirror. Some days to look in the mirror and I see the woman that God created; tough, smart, beautiful, and caring. Other days the view is warped and twisted; I’m too fat, my hair won’t do what I want it to do, I’ve disappointed someone, I’ve fallen behind, or I’ve said the wrong thing. This struggle is back and forth, sometimes I get a bunch of good days strung together and some days it seems so overwhelming that I want to shut out the world. But in each of those days I have to find something positive to look for and my day perks up. I look for the positive or, at the very least, I look for the humor in the situation. I am getting better about turning things over to God but sometimes it’s hard and I am stubborn; I just want to be a big baby and complain.  But, every time that I do turn it over to God the negativity gets shorter and becomes more manageable. In the words of a friend, I choose to “be more awesome”. I choose what my outlook is and I control how long I feel stuck in the mental traps of the Enemy.

What do you want your legacy to be? How do you want to be remembered?

I once heard a woman talk about her experience as a child that has really stuck with me. She said that when she and her siblings were children, their mother would go to parent teacher conferences at school and only ask the teachers one question, “Are my children kind to their classmates?” This was the only question that her mother cared about because if you aren’t kind to others then what is the point of life? You can teach a child to study more, to be more focused, to get better grades but perfection isn’t what we are called to do in this life. This story has frequently replayed in my mind as something that we so often take for granted. I want to be remembered for how I make others feel when I am around them. Do I use my words for positivity or for discouragement? Do I lift others up or tear them down? Do I make them feel heard or do I just wait for my chance to talk? Do I give them the benefit of the doubt or do I jump to conclusions and judge them? Through many tests in life, I have learned that I am honestly a very positive person. Even when things look bleak I look for a silver lining and I hope that ability means that I show people hope and kindness in the hours of their lives when there seems to be no light around them. I hope that I show the love of Christ through my life choices.

What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done?

I stepped out on faith and lived overseas for 5 months. I was sitting in church one Sunday and felt the strongest urge I had ever felt in my life to go on a mission trip overseas. I had only been a Christian for about 9 months and the idea of leaving everything that I had at the time was completely insane. Through support and wise counsel, I decided to step out on faith and move to Thailand. It was an experience that I would not trade for anything. It tested my sanity, my faith, my resilience, and taught me more about myself than I ever could have learned staying in my comfortable little bubble at home.

Meet Ashley: Married to Adam & together they have two furbabies, Riley the Labrador Retriever and Daisy the cat; She’s currently in Virginia Beach but soon will call Okinawa, Japan home!

Share a treasured memory.

So my 30th birthday was quickly approaching and my husband had asked me what type of party I wanted to have since it’s my last one in the US for a few years. We are moving to Japan in October due to military orders. I was racking my brain for what would be the most fun and I decided what better way to celebrate a 30th birthday than with a bounce house. I work a lot and sometimes it’s just really nice to pretend to still be a kid with no responsibilities. When I first told him my idea he thought it was a little weird but went with it anyway. Fortunately my husband has recently come to terms with my crazy ideas. I mean seriously, I have a mohawk. I decided back in April to start transitioning my hair from long into a mohawk without just completely shaving 2/3 of my head in one shot and he supported my hair decisions from the start. He may have been in shock at first but he still supported me. I definitely think that has made a bigger impact on me than he knows. While my confidence comes from my God, it’s definitely important to have my husband stand with me instead of against me.

What do you love about yourself?

One thing I love about myself is my unrelenting ability to forgive, sometimes to a fault. As much as sometimes I want to be angry at someone for a long time, I don’t have it in me. I remind myself that God has forgiven me, so why should I think I’m too important to not forgive someone else.

What do you want your legacy to be? How do you want to be remembered?

I want to be remembered for never saying no to an adventure. Be it a physical or spiritual adventure, I want people to look at my life and see the opportunities that God has put in front of me and be inspired to never say no just because they are scared or because it’s going to take them out of their comfort zone.

What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done?

I think the craziest thing I’ve ever done was at an adventure park in Playa del Carmen, Mexico. I swam through an underground cave and went on a zip-line that was 150 feet in the air and over 2 miles long. It was definitely fun, a complete rush, and a little scary when thinking about the fact that mexico’s safety guidelines may not be as strict as those in the US.

What is the best advice you were ever given?

Correction, what’s the best advice I’ve ever given? Just be more awesome. That correlates to everything. When you’re feeling down, make a conscious decision to be joyful despite your circumstances. When things seem like they can’t get any better, trust in God that He is for you, not against you. And then, just be more awesome!

Where do I even begin? I guess I’ll start at the beginning. Our story begins on September 3, 1978 when my mom gave birth to me. Three years later, my sister came into the picture. Shortly after Andrea was born, our world was flipped upside down when Mom suffered a nervous breakdown. Little did we realize the impact this illness would have on our life and little did we know how Mom would become an amazing role model and example of God’s love to both of us.

Growing up, life was not easy. Mom would be hospitalized at least once a year. Our dad farmed on his family’s farm so we spent a lot of time with our Grandparents. As a child, Mom’s illness often interfered with our life. Yet when she was well, Mom was the best mom in the world! My sophomore year of high school, our parents divorced. It was the first time I had ever seen my dad cry. It took a lot of guts for him to utter the words he did: “It is not that I don’t love your mom anymore. It is that I cannot handle this illness anymore.” In mere moments, our family was torn apart due to this devastating illness.

Yet despite everything, my mom Sandy is one of the most amazing woman in the world. She has lived most of my life with a mental illness, yet she has never let that get in the way of who and whose she is. She daily lives with a servant heart. She literally would give the shirt off of her back to someone in need. She is also one of the kindest and gentlest souls in my life. She deeply values her family which is a trait that she has passed onto my sister and I.

Mom has her good days and her bad days. This past summer has been full of more bad days than good days. Yet I am so very thankful for all she has taught me; to take time to play; to be kind to others; to shower God’s love upon all God’s people especially those that are different than me; to live each day to the fullest and to never take anything for granted. But most importantly, my mom has continually taught me to what it means to love and be loved!

“We love because he first loved us”–1 John 4:19

The foundation for She is Loved was poured decades ago as I grew up learning how to love on and serve people from my mom’s example. She always pays attention to the details and goes the extra mile to make sure someone feels loved in a way that’s uniquely them. Getting cards and themed boxes in the mail from her ‘just because’ is the norm vs the exception. Birthday and Christmas gifts, even if they are mundane themselves, always have a personalized flair…I don’t know how many times I’ve woken up to scavenger hunt clues hanging from my bedroom fan, or jelly beans making a trail to Easter baskets. Mom has always done what she could to make life fun and interesting.

On behalf of every She is Loved lady who will reap the benefits of what you have sown throughout my life, and from me personally, THANK YOU mom for being you. Thank you for showing me God and His love with everything you have. Thank you for always being in my corner. You are so very loved.

{Photography by: Jordan Brittley}